out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize