bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
