Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
