omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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