hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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