That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude i'm inner monologue high
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
