I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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