i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
