So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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