No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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