Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
