dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
