I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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