Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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