His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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