4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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