I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
