Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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