Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
