my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
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