Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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