Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
