It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
