Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize