people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
