five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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