I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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