so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize