Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
