Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
