I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
