she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
