I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
