When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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