Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
