dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
