I can't watch pbs sober anymore
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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