Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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