"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
