He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
