my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
