It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
