We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we're making bets on your personal life
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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