We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
