you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What a dumb baby whore.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
