I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
