No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
