just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
