You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
