well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
