I'm really into asian looking animals
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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