I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
