my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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