I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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