He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
