Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
