just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
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