the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
