So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have already put on my inside pants.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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