wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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