White coat. Heels.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
