the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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