I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
