whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
