is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
