My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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