if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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