Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
