Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
