Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
