I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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