Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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