he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
