I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize