i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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