So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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