whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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