So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
