i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
